Gay Men's Friendships: Invincible Communities

Peter M. Nardi

216 pp., Paper, $15.00 0-226-56849-0

"In this fascinating addition to the literature of friendship, Peter Nardi brilliantly illuminates the role of friendship in the gay community. GAY MEN'S FRIENDSHIP offers a lucid account of the intricacies of friendship -- the strengths and the weaknesses of these complicated social relationships that are at the center of all our lives but that have particular meaning and importance in a community that has been stigmatized and set apart for so long. Whatever the topic -- whether the impoverishment of our language to describe friendship bonds or the tensions around sex and friendship; whether the role of friendship in identity maintenance or the politics of friendship and the development of community - this comprehensive and beautifully executed book has much to teach us about a subject that has been neglected far too long." Lillian Rubin, author of Just Friends: The Role of Friendship in Our Lives

"An insightful and compelling book. Nardi reminds us how important friendships are in every life, and how necessary they are for the good health of a society. At a time when there is much empty chatter about family values and the decline of community, this book lets us peer into a world where men care deeply for one another and take care of each other. Anyone who's ever had a good friend will appreciate this book." John D'Emilio, author of Sexual Politics, Sexual Communities

Based on surveys and interviews of two hundred gay men, Peter Nardi's new study presents the first book-length examination of contemporary urban gay men's friendships. Expertly weaving historical and sociological research on friendship with firsthand information, Nardi argues that friendship is the central organizing element of gay men's lives. Through friendship, gay identities and communities are created, transformed, maintained, and reproduced.

Nardi explores the meaning of friends to some gay men, how friends often become a surrogate family, how sexual behavior and attraction affects these friendships, and how, for many, friends mean more and last longer than romantic relationships. While looking at the psychological joys and sorrows of friendship, he also considers the cultural constraints limiting gay men in contemporary urban America--especially those that deal with dominant images of masculinity and heterosexuality--and how they relate to friendship. By listening to gay men talk about their interactions, Nardi offers a rare glimpse into the mechanisms of gay life. We learn how gay men meet their friends, what they typically do and talk about, and how these strong relationships contain the roots of larger cultural forces such as social movements and gay identities and neighborhoods. Nardi also points out the political and social consequences when friendships fail to provide support against oppression. An intimate and informative look at gay life in urban America, Gay Men's Friendships ultimately shows how these relationships challenge the gender order of our society by questioning how masculinity is constructed and by offering a model for a more creative blending of gay and heterosexual masculinity.

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